Y24

This one's a doozy.

Soooo it was my birthday recently.  Yay for me.  ~2* years ago this early morning, my mom was pumping my little fetus veins full of nutrients.  ~2* years ago this slightly-later-in-the early morning, I came forth into the world.  Even slightly later in the day, I remained in the hospital because I was born with high blood sugar.  This may (in theory) present an explanation of why I do some of the things I do.  But then the hospital wasn't really my scene anymore, so I left and it has been a party ever since.

The very beginning of my this birthday probably couldn't have gone any better if I would've planned it, though.  Especially if I would've planned it.  Saturday was jam-packed full of friends and fun.  And alliterations.  Later on in the evening, there was a thunder and lightning storm.  Along with the thunder and lightning came some rain.  I'm not the type who generally prefers rain, but I do love it on summer nights.  I postulate that it provides for some of the best thinking time...  (Cue flashback fade as words trail off in echo)

The rain fell gently as I trudged on up to my new apartment.  I arrived to the top of the stairs in somewhat of a solemn mood.  For some reason, I didn't really feel like going inside just yet.  It was a pleasant evening; the falling rain and gentle breeze kept it cool and still, as most people had gone inside for the night or to seek shelter.  My apartment is also quite a ways removed from any hustle or bustle, being situated comfortably between several different apartment buildings.  The landing on which I stood was covered, keeping the moisture from intruding on the serenity of the scene.   Happy birthday to me, I thought.  Happy  birthday indeed.  I started to wonder what (if any) real significance the event really had.  One year older and wiser, too.  One can only hope.  One more year of life under my belt.  One year saggier.  One year closer to deeeeaddd.   The old adage did catch my attention, though.  I really did hope I was one year wiser.  So much can happen in a year—so much did happen this year.  What have I learned from it?  I began to think back on all of the major events which had gone by since my last birthday.  Some crucial things really had happened to me.  But I was rightfully taken aback when I realized that I hadn't really taken time to consider what could be gained from these experiences I had 'just' gone through.  It was unsettling to think that such big events had occurred and I hadn't stopped to contemplate what may have made them so big or important.  At least not long-term anyway.  Important lessons have (obviously) limited value when only acknowledged to get you through the present.  Well.  Most were still fresh enough in my history that any and all details of significance could still be recalled.  So I began to recall...

Needless to say, there was a lot to be learned during Y24 (this being the dub with which I have dubbed my 24th year of life).  And I relearned it, all while sitting out on my porch in the pouring rain.  Which I thought was kind of cool, given the events leading up to it and stuff.  But the worrisome thing is:  no one else knew the leading-up events.  Or the stuff.  Therefore I am likely to be branded as the weirdo or creeper that sits out on his porch at night typing on his laptop and looking emo.  Especially because my apartment door is located right outside the windows of half the girls in my new ward.  So anyways.  Here's a breakdown of what I came up with:

1.)  True to Yourself

I thought about referencing a 98° song here, but then I remembered they suck.  One of the bigger lessons I learned is the need to be true to yourself.  A huge part of that is living in accordance to the knowledge that you possess.  Each piece of knowledge you have is precious.  It has come with a price and for a reason.  Whether it came as a result of effort, heartache, endurance, etc... nothing worthwhile that was gained through your own experience comes easy.  To disregard or go against one's own understanding is to put oneself in a situation much worse than was living in the ignorance that proceeded it. It creates dissonance within oneself, which (by definition!) makes it impossible to find inner harmony.  If you know something is a certain way, don't live in another, contradictory way. Instead be honest with yourself and don't be afraid to stand up for what you know.  Knowledge is a treasure.  Understanding is an enabling gift.  Both must be sought after, respected and humbly acknowledged for benefit to be gained. What one has/can become through the general process of conscientiously living life is nothing to be derided or suppressed.  It is something to be explored and built upon.  

2.)  Seizure (Carpe Diem)

I found it slightly ironic that this was one of my lessons, seeing as how it is something that I am far from mastering.  But before there can be effective integration, there must first be acknowledgement.  Recently, I have been reading a book that focuses a lot on being proactive.  Becoming this way is a goal of mine.  But upon investigating the theme further, I came to the realization that, in many ways, I simply let life happen.  I don't really make it happen.  This thought worried me.  I hardly want that to be my lifestyle.

I think sometimes I worry too much and that keeps me from doing and/or becoming.  As I thought about Y24, I was reminded that things always seem to work out.  There's no need to be afraid of where life might take you.  It's going to take you somewhere great so long as the path you have chosen to walk is one that leads to greatness.  That doesn't mean you won't have to backtrack or change paths from time to time, but the general course is clear and the specifics can be discovered later when (and if) they're necessary.  Don't miss out on opportunities to end up somewhere amazing because you're worried about missing out on something amazing.  Its ironically counterproductive and just sounds dumb-dumb.

3.)  Under the Influence (of Peeps!)

One can never expect to escape completely uninfluenced by what surrounds them.  Especially when instead of what, it is a matter of who.  I think there's some profound quote about being the people you surround yourself with, but I can't remember what it is.  But it really is true.  When you spend time with people of a certain mindset, behavior, ideology, etc., you can't help but be pickin up what they're puttin down.  They will influence the way you perceive and react to things, and therefore influence the way you behave.  I feel particularly strongly about this because I have seen it countless times in my own life, both for better and for worse.  Not like the comic strip, though.  It is important to spend as much of our time as possible with those who will uplift us and encourage/magnify the behaviors (mindsets, ideologies,etc.) that will bring us to further develop the positive qualities that lie (dormant or not) within us.

4.)  The Power of Informed Choice

This is the first thing that I'm going to discuss on my blog that will be major-related.  Yeehaw.  In my History of Psychology class Winter semester, we talked extensively about many of the different theories which came about in the early stages of the field of Psychology. Many of these (if not all) are still kickin in some form or another today.  Without going into too much detail, a lot of these theories revolve around the idea of Determinism.  This is essentially the idea that human life is a series of cause and effects, actions and reactions; we are conditioned by a variety of different factors in our lives to do the things we do.  Because of this conditioning, we are determined to act in a certain way.  So basically everything that we do in this life is a direct result of things that have happened to us in the past which we had no control over that force us to respond in a certain way.  This concept didn't sit well with me.  I am of the opinion that, although the circumstances that surround us indeed influence us, they do not determine who we are, nor how we will react to any given situation.  No matter what happens, we will always have the ability to choose.  Well.  Unless we choose to give that away, but that is a discussion for another time (and still involves choice).  This inherent power to choose is both a huge blessing and a huge responsibility.  As such, we should do our best to use it responsibly.  This means that we shouldn't just possess it, but we should make the most of it.  Being able to choose isn't enough.  We should take time to think about the decisions we do or might have to make, and see if we can't choose to make them better.

5.)  Think tank / Quiet time

One last little brain nugget is that we learn the most both when life is the loudest and when it's the quietest:  loudest in the sense that we learn a lot from the tumultuous trials we face—so long as we let ourselves.  Quietest in the sense that it is in the still moments, when we can just sit and think, that we can learn some of the greatest (although sometimes the most subtle) and most important lessons of our lives.  Over the course of the past couple of months, each one of my old roommates was gone for an extended period of time.  This made for lots of Kameron time.  Not that I preferred that my roommates were gone, but at the same time I got a lot of time to myself to just sit and think about how life was going and what was going on in it.  During these times, I came to many realizations that I probably wouldn't have had I not had my quiet time.  We can make our lives considerably better by simply thinking about them and putting into practice what we learn.  We just need to make the time to do so and do so.

So this has been my summation of Y24.  Rock the casbah.  Won't you join me... for Y25?

Here's to hoping it's even better :)