Yes it has finally arrived. Quarter centuries are so passé.
For those of you who haven’t gotten the memo yet, I’m old. But I choose not to worry because in my lengthy time upon this lovely earth, I have found lots of other lovely things that are old:
Pretty soon, I hope to be worthy of induction to that list.
I decided long ago to make it a custom on this here blog, so long as it shall stand, to make a birthday post every year in which I recap the major lessons that I have learned since my previous birthday. I’m always amazed at how much can happen in a year. They always seem to be jam-packed with experiences and things to churn with my brain. Last year was mind-blowing. My mind spent months reforming just to be blown again this year. And I expect it’ll just be more intense going forward. It’s almost time for me to start being an adult. But we’ll get there when (read "if") we get there. Either way, for now, here are my musings as a man-child from Y25:
The Power of Love
Aside from being probably the best Celine Dion song of all time, it is also a poignant concept.
Powerful is the experience of learning to love people for who they are rather than—and sometimes in spite of—what they are. Of the utmost value is the capacity to do so; of the utmost worth is the discovery of what to do to broaden that capacity. Love includes putting the best interest of others (or those of a group, of which you yourself may be a part) above our own. This means that love is sacrifice. Love is a choice—one that too often we choose not to make. Love is action. Love is unconditional. Love is hard sometimes. Love is worth it (I promise I didn't plagiarize that, SugrCookie).
Heavily involved in the process of love and its manifestation in any given relationship is the making of oneself vulnerable. This can be manifest in many times, in many ways, and at many different levels. The ability to allow oneself to be (or be made to feel) vulnerable (when and how appropriate) leads to strength—strength of relationships, strength of character, strength of self. That being said, this particular aspect of any relationship presents a high level of difficulty: it takes a lot to allow oneself to be vulnerable. But I suppose something as valuable as love should take a lot. Why should love be a cheap experience?
And as is always important in any discussion of relationships, we musn’t forget the relationship with self. It may sound a little odd at first to claim that it’s important to be able to be vulnerable with oneself, but it really is. Important, not odd. Included in this is the ability to recognize and live with one’s flaws and weaknesses—to accept yourself for who you are in the time it takes to become what you wish to become. And even when you get there. So do what you must to get all cute with yourself. Take yourself on a date. It may be awkward to ask yourself and to find a time that works for both of you. The conversation may be a little forced at first. But after a while, you’ll discover a lot about yourself, your convictions and aspirations. You might end up liking yourself quite a bit once you get some one-on-one time. Half-on-half time? I don’t know. I’ve never been good at math.
All of this is something that I’m horrifyingly bad at. But I just admitted it on the internet and solicited that you all read about it. Is there anything more vulnerable than that? Baby steps, baby.
Community / > or =
I’m seemingly becoming very forgetful in my old age, because I constantly need reminders to be humble. Humility is a principle of empowerment. The act of focusing less on ourselves awakens within us attributes that otherwise would require years of unbroken focus and determination to develop, could they be developed at all. I believe that the feelings and desires that accompany those of humility give us a peek into our true nature and capabilities.
Tucked neatly under the umbrella of humility is a belief in or relationship with something greater than ourselves. Such a belief allows for growth into something greater than what we are. If there is nothing greater than us, what else can we aspire to? From what can we draw strength? To what can we look for for resolve and purpose? Linked to this idea are things like hope and faith, which transform and refine. And again, in a circular relationship, tied to this idea is that of humility, which ironically paves the path to grandeur.
I personally believe that that something is God. It is from the relationship that I have formed with Him through careful thought and effort that I draw strength and hope.
Also tied to the concept of humility is that of interdependence. I’m a firm advocate of positive relationships, as I’ve stated often on this blog. I fear that many adopt the mindset that in order to be as strong as one can possibly be, they must cling to their independence and strive to do things alone. There is strength in numbers. Developing friendships and relationships builds us up in so many more ways. Maybe if we were all perfect, independence would be fine. But we’re not. And I would be willing to wager that any semblance of perfection is impossible without interdependence. Other people excel in the things that we’re missing, and coming together and combining our excellences creates a more perfect community. It’s okay to lean on that and to allow someone else to share their strengths with you. Aside from filling in your gaps, it creates a bond that wasn’t previously there. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.
Willpower / Power of Self
From my belief in a greater power comes a belief that I have power to become greater. I believe that we all can learn and achieve things that we never have before. I’ve had several experiences with this within the past year. I have come to recognize more than ever the ability we have to effect positive change and forward progress. Successes and accomplishments are available to everyone, they just take a concentrated effort to discover and achieve. Sometimes great opportunities come knocking at our door. Overwhelmingly more often, we're the ones that must go a-knocking in order to find them. It seems to me that we don't always need to go far to find these great opportunities. We just need to go.
Time for Time
In many cases, time is one of our greatest advocates and allies. The healing of wounds, progression, growth... So often we want things instantly, but that’s never (time reference) how it works. Some things take time; most things are worth the time they take. Perhaps instead, when we want something worthwhile (time reference), what we should really want is more time to earn it/prepare for it/let it unfold. Sometimes (time reference), we just need to let time run its course. Eventually, we’ll be able to look back and be surprised at how far we’ve come or how much we have accomplished. But in order to do so, we have to be active travelers with time as it marches on. With the passing of time can come distance: distance from old selves, old habits, old situations... This distance can be physical, emotional, mental, or other. With that distance we press ever closer to the new—new selves, new habits, new situations. Time passes regardless. We should take advantage.
Also included under this heading according to my organizational skills (and oh—I’m the one dictating this) is the notion that things work out. They really do. In and because of some situations, that fact can end up being the furthest thing from our thoughts, often when we need it most. But with honesty, faith, and a little bit of effort, timid as it may be, it always comes back to that. And I’ve come to notice that they often do more than just turn out. They turn in—into something much better than we originally hoped or planned for.
Conclusion
Life is good. Don't live it otherwise. Here's to Y26. Hope to see you there. If my vision holds up.
