MKATs

Summer is warm.  Warm is favorable for most people.  It is also favorable for most insects, if not all.  I would assume all, but I haven't really talked to some about it.  Since they favor it so much, there come to be insects aplenty during the summer months.  Just like people, insects of all walks of life take advantage of this time of year to engage in frivolous summer fun.  The activities of insects are slightly different, however.  Although there are many types of insects, this post is about mosquitos.

Mosquitos are prevalent.  They are buzzy-wuzzy.  They are sassy.  They get all up in my grill and I'm not a huge fan.  They also like my blood, but I do too.  And I don't know if this is being selfish, but I think that I should get first dibs since it is my blood and it's... oh, you know... inside my body?  And I did not permit any mosquitos to poke their pointy little nose things inside my body and suck on out my blood, which I like and I worked very hard to produce and would like to hold on to.  Plus, don't they have their own blood?  I know they (kind of) do because Dr. Knowledge just told me.  Frankly, I think they should keep their noses out of my business, and especially out of my business. So frankly, I started to do something about it.  I started to teach them a lesson.  Well, to try to at least.  Turns out mosquitos are small and fast enough to evade most regular attempts on their collective lives.  So I have attempted to incorporate new Mosquito Killing* Abilitation Techniques ©, the likes of which have been successful to varying degrees (hence the *).  These MKATs, as I like to call them, are ways that I have almost rid myself of mosquitine advances.  Allow me to share them with you in hopes that you might find them useful in your quest to keep yer bloods.  Successful techniques are indicated by an asterisk.

          - Against the bridge of my guitar while playing a song

          - With my foot while seated in the lavatories

          - While lying in my bed only by the dim hall light

       * - Smashing against my butt

          - Elbowing against my hand

       * - One-handedly

          - Under a house by the light of a cellular device

These are the ones I've come up with so far.  I'm sure there will be more to come.  Remember though, when it comes to the MKATs, be ready, be smart, and be resourceful.