The internet can be a dark, devastating place. Part of the reason this is possible is because of its rampant anonymity. Sometimes people choose to do abhorrent things when they know their identity will not be attached to their deeds. Today, I tell a tale of internet treachery.
As the story goes, I was on the internet. I was scrolling and looking and reading and chuckling. It was a fairly normal interaction with the internet. I wouldn’t say we’re close, but we do spend a fair amount of time together and have developed a mutual understanding. As I scrolled mid-chuckle down a feed of the internet, I saw a thing. The thing was an article that touched on what was, for me, a topic of great interest. As I slouched there on my couch, I became intrigued.
The only thing that gave me pause was that the title of said article seemed click-baity to me. As I expressed in a blogpost that none of you have read because I never published it and would therefore not serve to present you with the following information, I
/loathe/
click-baiting articles. They make me upset in ways that leave me feeling really upset. Sometimes, I will forego clicking on a link that seems very interesting to me simply because the title is click-baity, and I refuse to give in to such base dross. This probably speaks to deep issues of my own, but, hey, look over there.
This time, however, the subject matter was of such great interest, and the article title was not-blatantly-or-annoyingly-click-baity-enough and I couldn’t refuse.
So! Situation set up, I was scrolling and saw an article entitled Tonight will be the longest night in the history of Earth—Why it’ll be the longest period of darkness in the last 4.5 billion years. Color me intrigued! You might notice the last post on this very blog has to do with Daylight Saving Time, the shortening of days, and increased darkness. I am passionate about my sunshine, and had been excited about the solstice for weeks because it marks the point where the amount of day in a day starts increasing again. That, coupled with my love of all things astronomy, helped me swallow my pride and convinced me to click on this little linky to learn a lil sumthin about some science in preparation for my day in the sun. But when the internet did its thing and the article loaded, this was the title that awaited me:
Correction: Tonight will not be the longest night in the history of Earth.
Correction: Tonight will not be the longest night in the history of Earth.
What? Wait, what? You mean to tell me I clicked on your link because I was interested to read about its subject matter and your article exists merely to tell me the literal opposite of what I was interested in? Hmm. Go on.
What the heck? You drew me in by piquing my interest just to make me come all the way across these bandwidths to tell me that the thing that piqued my interest isn’t actually a thing at all. The very explanation we promised you doesn’t exist, so here’s a sentence telling you something else entirely. Hope that works. Hey if you come over here I'll tell you about this thing! Nope jk nvrmndlol
With all the effort that goes into editing in the correction, why not just change the title or delete the post entirely? Maybe the effect of the original click-baiting has worn off and now articles will just have any old title that might get you to click, and when you get there it will be about literally anything else.
After all, clicks, etc., and who doesn't love a good surprise?
