There have long been rumblings throughout the history of the world that, some day, the world will be history. In our ever-nagging desire to be able to predict (and thereby establish control over) the world around us, many people have attempted to pinpoint when exactly the world will transition from presently- and pleasantly-inhabited sphere to historical factoid. There was the Y2K scare. There was that prophet guy. There was that Mayan Doomsday. And now we've got Ragnarök. Oh and it's today.
Ragnarök is the ancient Norse doomsday, essentially. According to Norse tradition/mythology, after 3 years of never-ending winter, a mighty horn would blow and signal the beginning of the end. The gods would engage in mighty battle, destroying everything and resulting in a reset of the human race. Only two would survive to repopulate a new and fertile earth: Lif and Lifthrasir.
I haven't personally experienced 3 years of never-ending winter, but I can't speak for the whole world. There was that polar vortex, which may have included a time warp or a worm hole. And I didn't hear a mighty horn blow, but I did get some nice new headphones and maybe I just missed it. Another downside of having to always be connected. So seeing as how my name is neither Lif nor Lifthrasir, it looks like this will be the end for me. I had no idea it was so close; I wish the Norse would've been a little bit better about communicating these things. All it would've taken was a quick editorial or blog entry to a major news site and I wouldn't have to scramble to find fulfillment and meaning in my life before it's prematurely and violently snuffed out.
A few years ago, when I caught word of the Mayan Doomsday, I decided to compile a list of things to do before I died. I wasn't able to accomplish the vast majority of them before that Doomsday hit. Luckily, the day came and went, and the world wasn't completely annihilated. This was good in general, and especially because it allowed more time for me to complete my list! !!! Here's an update on how things are going with my list! !
Join a Yacht club
So the yacht club that I originally intended to join seems to have disappeared without a viable trace of their contact information or very existence. I wasn't aware it was a secret yacht club, or I would've probably tried a little harder to get in. Needless to say, I didn't complete this item.
Start an Emu farm
Technically I didn't start my own emu farm. But I do drive by several farms on my way to work, and one of them has an emu on it that I see from time to time. My crippling social anxiety has kept me from networking with that particular farm owner, but I have a lead. We'll mark this one partially completed, citing disability.
Wrestle a large dangerous animal
I'm not much of wrestler, I'm more of a pacifist. I don't remember where this desire came from, but the closest I've come is probably playing with my nieces. They're not large or animals. But Ragnarök says that there will be ferocious beasts involved in the end of the world, so maybe they'll come this way and I'll be able to complete this goal and update my post to all those who are anxiously waiting to know in their last precious moments on this earth. I'll mark this one AS OF YET incomplete.
Invent something [preferably useful] that gets famous
I don't have many resources to work with as an inventor. But I have come up with some neat app gaming ideas in my mind that would probably definitely get famous. The only qualification was invent it, which I did conceptually, and I didn't establish a timetable for famous, so I'll mark this okay pretty complete.
Have a reason to be interviewed
See this one's a little hard to gauge. Some people might be genuinely interested in learning more about traditionally uninspiring aspects of my life, like my sock collection or my sleight in hanging wall art. So I don't want to deflate anyone's enthusiasm, I'll mark this well it depends.
Wear a speedo in public
Check
Get a real-life massage in a real-life massage place
This one could be open for interpretation as well. I went to the mall yesterday and got a massage in/from one of those massage chairs that are just sitting unhygienically out in the middle of the hallway. So technically it was a real-life massage, but the reality-lifeness of the place is less technical. This one's a well yeah if.
Drive one of those golf carts around campus
I can't even think of anything relatively close to this one. Incomplete
See the aurora borealis
I did look at pictures and even a video of it on the internet the other day. So in a way I guess.
Go to space
No. I did listen to a broadcast that was supposed to show the nearby flyby of a potentially dangerous asteroid in our galaxy. But they didn't actually ever find the asteroid (!) and I wasn't actually in space, so in spirit.
Be in a volcano
Not physically. Emotionally, yes.
Grow a beard
Grew and metrosexually maintained. Check
Evolve something cool
I recently thought of something that I could do that might potentially alter the evolutionary course of my offspring for generations to come, but I don't personally know how to go about conscientiously evolving things. So no not really or AS OF YET incomplete, depending on how you look at it.
Beat up a bad guy
I had a dream about it once, not too long ago. So pretty much no, but I did dream about it.
Travel cool places
I went to the Dominican Republic this past summer, which is a quite cool place. Check
Lay siege to something
Mmm I have a new roommate and sometimes he and his fiancée just sit in our room and I feel weird about being in there at the same time as them so I just kind of wait them out in the living room. Not in a cool way
Something love related, I'm sure
Another ambiguous one. I didn't actually experience an unusual amount of love towards another human being, but it's almost baseball season, and I went on some dates and I'm wearing pants with hearts on them, which are all love related, so sure
So if you count partial completions, I'm at about 5/17. And according to Norse calculations, I have about 11 hours left. That's completing a new life-long aspiration every hour until I go out wrestling a ferocious beast. Doable. Hopefully, this will all qualify me for the ranks of Einherjar. Valhalla receive me!!!
