For my health psychology class, we had to do a group project on something relating to the subject. After having met with group members, we decided to try going a couple of weeks without any dairy products to see what the effect would be on our bodies and energy level. I was under the impression that it wouldn’t be too bad. Apart from a few Michael Bolton moments, I didn’t see it presenting a huge deviation from my normal lifestyle.
Never before have I been so wrong.
Every day (almost literally) of the project, I was presented with the opportunity to partake of something delicious but was denied therefrom. The hard part wasn't really not eating stuff--I've starved before. Instead it was the feeling of dejection and denial that came with my refusal of these torturously omnipresent comestibles. Never before have I been offered so many cookies, invited to so many fondue parties, called upon for so many milk squirt gun fights, supplicated for so much pudding wrestling, and challenged to so many gallon challenges. It's like there was some sort of milk god exercising some cruel divine punishment for my self-imposed lactoabstinance.
Never before have I been so wrong.
Every day (almost literally) of the project, I was presented with the opportunity to partake of something delicious but was denied therefrom. The hard part wasn't really not eating stuff--I've starved before. Instead it was the feeling of dejection and denial that came with my refusal of these torturously omnipresent comestibles. Never before have I been offered so many cookies, invited to so many fondue parties, called upon for so many milk squirt gun fights, supplicated for so much pudding wrestling, and challenged to so many gallon challenges. It's like there was some sort of milk god exercising some cruel divine punishment for my self-imposed lactoabstinance.
But at the same time, I think it was kind of refreshing—like a cold glass of milk. I gained a few things from the endeavor: First off, it helped me to realize that I need to develop a lot more self-discipline, mostly because I found that I’m prone to throw a tantrum/complain incessantly every time I have to show some. Second, it strengthened my belief in this quote/concept that I love:
Though its application is much more valuable in real life situations and with real life decisions, it also applies to anti-milk projects. Third: Weight. But instead of being something I gained, in this case it was something I lost. 10 pounds from the start of the project, to be exact. Hot dang. Fourth, this shirt:
Well it’s not a guarantee yet, but I have made it known to my groupees that I want that we should wear these when we present and even photoshopped it to show them I am serious.
Also whose idea was it to start drinking/making things with cow’s milk anyway? How did the conversation go there?
Also whose idea was it to start drinking/making things with cow’s milk anyway? How did the conversation go there?
- Dude so I know I’m a grown man and everything, but I miss milk.
- Yeah man I know what you mean...
- Hey I know it’s not socially acceptable to drink human milk past a certain age, but what do you think about getting some milk from somewhere else?
- Like maybe some sort of unsavory beast?
- Well there are some cows over that way. They’re pretty unsavory.
- Oh you mean the ones over there eating out of that pile of garbage?
- Well yeah those or the ones over there walking around in their own poop.
- Oh yeah I saw those ones, too.
- Oh okay yeah. Well yeah I think that’d be okay.
- Sweet let’s do it.
- Say, you think other people would like this, too?
- Oh yeah definitely. Who wouldn’t?
Got milk?
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