Verde que te quiero verde, pt. 2

St. Patrick’s Day was the other day. Traditionally, people wear a bit of green to celebrate. But I always feel the need to go all out in my Patty's Day apparel. Partially it’s because of my thin ties to the Emerald Isle, and partially it’s because I'm not sure whether or not I'm a leprechaun. My sense of loyalty and devastating fear of the unknown cause me to pretend to be something I'm not, or maybe am. Thus I trudge on, depressed and dressed in green, seeking some semblance of affirmation by putting on a facade and hoping it's not one. People tend to enjoy this outward kowtow to a debilitating inner conflict, so that's how I continue to celebrate. But for those who don’t have emotional issues and the looks of a jolly green midget, simply wearing green does just fine.

In fact, it does highly fine. Several years ago, I postulated that people who wear green are mighty fine. As the SPD came and went this year, I reflected on this assertion; I am of the opinion that this remains true to this day. Now, I recognize that this is an opinion. But I also recognize that not all opinions are created equal, and I wanted to see how my opinion stood up to the indisputable virtues of truth and internet science. Thus I embarked on an interwebbital journey for confirmation bias.

METHOD

I scoured the internet looking for veritable evidence of whether or not people look better when wearing green. The evidence I found was veritable. Below I have juxtaposed pictures of common internet folk. One picture is said internet folk not wearing green. The connected picture is of the same internet folk wearing green. You be the judge as to which one looks better:

RESULTS

Now if you're like me, you're hesitant to trust average people. After all, they're average, and we're all familiar with the law of averages. But I think we can all agree that we know we can trust celebrities. They live exemplary lives and never let us down and are immune to the problems of common riffraff/streetrats/streetdwellers/streetfolk/commonfolk/commoners. Here are some examples with celebrities—people you can trust—, following the same format:

*These are real pictures of real celebrities, and no stunt doubles were used for any of these pictures

Joan Rivers

Robert Downey, Jr.

The Hulk

Neville Longbottom

Britney Spears

Miley Cyrus

Lindsey Lohan

Arnold Schwarzenneger

Michael Jackson

Steve Urkel

Batman

Marilyn Manson

And Lady Gaga

DISCUSSION

There's not really anything to discuss; I think the results speak for themselves. In honor of science and celebrities and veritability, I think it's high time people started making the change for themselves and going green. In fact, I'm so encouraged by the results, I've created a tumblr account on which people can share their success stories. It's a support group of sorts. I've entitled it Trans(vert)mation. Vert is the French word for green. The whole word actually sounds much more exotic and desirable if pronounced with an outrageous French accent. It's okay to be afraid, but don't let it stop you. Feel free to send me before and after pics and I'll add them to the irrefutable evidence of the re(vert)lution. You, too, can reach out to your best self and make the trans(vert)mation.