I've Been Away, pt. 2

Meaning is subjective. There are certain circumstances which hint at particular or common meanings, but ultimately, the meaning (or lack thereof) that we draw from any given _______ is pretty up to us. Because of its subjectivity, meaning can be found in just about anything. Even in cases where it might not inherently be present, the simple act of exploring possible meaning can reveal valuable insights and perspectives. I like to look for meaning in things. In my trip to the Dominican Republic, I did things. I chose to look for meaning therein, and this is what I found:

Education/Helping

Nelson Mandela once said, “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” To an uneducated mind, referring to education as a weapon might be confusing. “edjikashun ain’t no sword” might go the refrain. True, uneducated person, but the pen is mightier than the sword, and pens are educational. Sometimes uneducated people don’t learn similes or metaphors. However, educated people learn things, and learned things become a weapon in the arsenal of learned people. Metaphorically. Hopefully not literally.

I ‘recently’ took a class on the wide variety of cultures in America. An eye-opening theme that was discussed at length was that of poverty and educational inequality. Educational opportunities can literally make a world of difference for their recipient. It was this realization that made we want to get involved in the DREAM Project in the first place. Their aim is essentially to provide these opportunities to youth and communities who wouldn’t receive them otherwise. This, to me, is meaningful, and something that I wanted to be a part of. It was inspiring to be able to interact with these kids and hope to influence their attitudes towards and capacity for educational progression. It also helped instill within me a new appreciation for something that sometimes seems like a burden. It is not uncommon for us to under-appreciate something until it’s gone, or, perhaps more accurately, until we witness the circumstance created by its absence. Witness I did, and appreciate I do.

New Relationships

Relationships are pretty cool, and are sufficiently valuable. While on my trip, I met people. Throughout the whole experience, I was able to establish relationships with these people. They all taught me and made my time there incoherently enjoyable. I couldn’t have asked to have been put with a better group of co-counselors, and the kids were the best. Although I was basically in a position as a teaching assistant, I feel like so much more of my time was spent learning, and much of that came from my interactions with others.

Old Relationships

Pop quiz:

I have been to the Dominican Republic:

a.) before

b.) , not

c.) .

If you guessed/asserted a and/or c, you are correct. For the purpose of this section, a is more accurate, and more telling. Before this summer, I had been to the Dominican Republic. Several years ago, I was called to the Dominican Republic as a missionary for my church. 

I spent two years there, getting to know people, serving them, and sharing a message I find of utmost importance. Just as it did this time around, spending that time working towards something meaningful resulted in some treasured relationships. Once I found out I would be returning, I contacted many of these people and was able to arrange to meet up with them after DREAM was over. Seeing them again resulted in some of the happier moments I've ever had. I also was able to go back and revisit a number of significant places from my past. Even if it was for a short while, these places were my home. I was able to walk the same streets, see the same sights, and feel similar feelings. 

It literally was a dream come true, and I’ll discuss why a bit more in the following section.

Revisiting the past

Sometimes, balance is difficult to find. Recently, for me, this has been a matter of learning from and appreciating the past while not living in it. However, while in the DR this summer, and especially after camp was over, I had no problem re-living the past.

Ever since having returned from the Dominican Republic the first time, I’ve wanted to go back. Badly. My first trip there has been the most influential period in my life to this point. When I touched down in Puerto Plata, I couldn’t believe I was back. As I rode to my hotel, passing so many familiar sights and sounds, it started to dawn on me. After spending a couple of weeks there, it felt like I hadn’t really ever left. In a lot of ways, returning physically allowed me to mentally and emotionally return to a time and mindset that were invaluable to me. As proposed above, sometimes we don’t know what we have until it’s gone. In this instance, I didn’t know what I had until I was gone. After having left the first time, I was able to more fully realize what this place truly meant to me, because of and in addition to what I had experienced there. Experiencing all of those same sights and sounds meant so much more this time around, as it was accompanied by an appreciation and gratitude that set what might seem plain apart as something special--something meaningful. And that’s what made my visit great: time travel. A lot of people say that they would love to live certain periods of their lives over again if they could do so knowing what they know now. And I got the chance to do that. Maybe not exactly, when it comes to the details, but in a way that was probably a bit more meaningful considering the stage of life that I’m currently at. Because of that, I have a bit of new experience to add to the old, and together they form something that makes me pero muy feliz.

Sapling

I recently graduated from college. An actual university has deemed my scholastic shenanigans worthy of accreditation. I view this as both an accomplishment and a successful pulling of wool over eyes.

The more time that passes, the more opportunity there is for occurrences to occur. I started college a while ago. Therefore, it could be (correctly) assumed that a lot has occurred since I started college. The impending ending of my college career has caused me to reflect on these occurrences. This process culminated on the last day of finals:  It was a beautiful day that began with my last trip to the testing center—a joyous occasion, until I got the score for my test. This reminded me why it was such a joyous occasion, and my joy forcefully poked my disappointment in the bum and asked it to leave. I then began the finishing touches on my final assignment as an undergraduate, a paper that simply needed to be turned in by the end of the day. I made quick (read not quick) work of the assignment, printed it off, stapled the crap out of it, put on my backpack, and jaunted down the stairs and out the door of my place of employment. Exhaustion and relief swarmed over me, but I was too exhausted to feel the relief, so exhaustion ultimately swarmed over me and my relief.

Per assignment, I headed toward the building wherein my destiny lie. Although I felt no need or desire to think, the significance of the moment was not lost on me—I was on my way to put the proverbial cherry on top of my non-proverbial undergraduate work. It had been a week of lasts, and, being a sucker for sentimental drivel, I had given due thought to each one that I had experienced to that point. This was likely the last of the lasts, and I gave it (more than) its due thought. For every building I passed, I took a moment to reflect on any memories I might’ve had there. There were a lot. I finally arrived at the building in question, got lost for 45 minutes looking for my professor’s office, lost my student ID card somehow, and dropped off my paper. Microcosms, chiasmi, etc.  Needless to say, this was a needlessly emotional experience for me. College over.

I have had the nostalgic experience of working near my Freshman dorm for the last 3 and a half years.  Most of the time, I didn’t think too much about it—the building was not in my direct path, so out of sight, out of mind.  It did become much more apparent, however, when the option of passing by was no longer available.  Recently, my university began the process of building new dorms, as the old ones had more than done their time.  I didn’t get long to be sentimental, though, as my old apartment building was one of the first they knocked down.  It was mildly sad when it happened.  But, with so many other things to think about, it quickly got pushed to the back of my mind.  However, it has begun to creep back to the forefront as of late.  And this because they have finally gotten around to building a new building in the exact location where the former stood. And this means construction. 

I love passing by construction sites; construction has always fascinated me. It’s fun for me to think about all of the possibilities of what that new structure or project could be. I imagine what it’s going to look like, what purpose it will serve, and how it will affect the surrounding area. After tickling my mind with all of the possibilities, I love watching the projects progress—the care in laying the foundation and the different strategies employed in sequentially completing each respective stage. And then the finished product is achieved and establishes itself in the collective stream of consciousness. Eventually, it stops being something new and exciting and it becomes a ‘permanent’ and regular fixture—after a while, it just becomes normal. You begin to forget that things weren’t always that way, and remembering back to when they weren’t takes progressively more effort.

I find a bit of significance in the timing of this new dorm. Said significance may not exist inherently, but Jung says that if I find significance, then it’s significant, and he’s famous, so there. In the process of reminiscing upon times past and younger days, I have continually been reminded that things are different now than they were then. It has become increasingly obvious that I am one of the things that is different. The more time that passes, the more opportunity there is for occurrences to occur. Therefore, it could be (correctly) assumed that a lot has occurred since I started college. Much that has occurred has played into my growth. Using the transitive property (I think. I don’t go to college), it can (also correctly) be assumed that I’ve grown a lot in and as a result of my time here. I myself have been a construction site, of sorts. Each new year, with its distinct twists and turns, has completed a new phase of the project that is me. I have yet to become a finished product (I hope), but my mind seemed to have forgotten some of the earlier stages of Project Me©. A perpetually interesting possibility when looking backwards is seeing how far we’ve come. Sometimes, this distance eludes us as we are wont to presently acknowledge only the aspects of ourselves which are most present—those which have become (and therefore have not always been) our norm. Looking back reminds us that often times they haven't always been the norm, and hopefully helps foster within us both appreciation for these changes and the process by which they’ve come about, as well as faith that we are capable of continuing similar processes in the future.

Maybe I’m just being a bit too sappy with all of this, as I am wont to be.  Maybe I’m just being a sapling.

These are pictures of saplings. I included the first one because it’s coming from an egg and that doesn’t make sense. I included the second one because it’s a sapling. Originally, I wrote sapling as a hilarious play on other words. Sap begets sappiness which is what I was demonstrating. Therefore, one who demonstrates sappiness would naturally be a sapling. I’ll give you a moment to stop laughing.  But upon further examination, sapling became the perfect word to describe much of my recent experience.  A sapling is a young tree or person. I’m not (particularly) young anymore, but I have been looking back on times when I was. Unpleasant and fecal as it may sound, I've been pruned and dunged and fertilized and have grown and been the better for it. There’s also the cyclical process of a new beginning stemming from any given end. This is the first time in a while that I haven’t had my immediate future planned out for me. I can do (almost) whatever I want. This is an extremely humbling and vulnerable thought. But vulnerability leads to tickling, which is always fun. And once I allow myself to get past the crippling fear of uncertainty, the prospects are extremely exciting. Life begins anew, so to speak, and the possibilities are endless. So I’m not too worried.  Another reason I chose the second picture above is because I found it significant that the sapling is gently held and supported by a pair of dutiful hands. I am and have been in the best of hands, and if I adhere to what I’ve learned through my experience (especially outside the classroom), nothing will go so wrong that it can’t eventually end up right. I can’t adequately express how grateful I am to all of those who have been a part of this experience, so here’s a picture of a dog on stilts:

And thus ends an era. As my old but meaningful building has crumbled and the construction of a new one has begun, one meaningful stage of life has ended and a new one has begun. I am but a mere sapling in the spice garden of life. The possibilities are endless and are currently tickling and crippling the crap out of my brain. Not literally, thankfully. Let’s see if I can’t make like Jurassic Park and turn this fortunate sap into something great.