App-o-lanterns

As many of you know, I love Halloween.  

As all of you now know, I love Halloween.  I look forward to it every year.  In the sense of linear time, the looking forward is a necessity.  In a dispositional sense, it’s anticipatory.  This anticipation is for all activities associated with Halloween:  The candy eating.  The dressing up, down, and every which way.  Call me crazy, but I even find it enjoyable to scoop the goop out of gourds and chop their chunks.  Who wouldn’t?  The designs that result from this chunk-chopping can be entertaining, to say the least.  The only downside is that the messiness that results can be less than entertaining.  ...most of the time.  If only someone were smart enough to come up with a solution...

Enter smartphone.  So smart.  And I’ve got one.  And a pair of clean hands.  You know why?  Pumpkin carving app.  

Rather than scoop the gloop, I just smudged my finger all over my phone’s face and voila!:  I got some      sweet n clean pumpkins with cool graphics.  These are all of the pumpkins I 'carved' this year. A looksee:  Have one.

 Scraggle face pumpkin

Sappy happy bribe pumpkin

Pikachu pumpkin

Sad clown pumpkin

Robot pumpkin

A wombat, of sorts

A poodle

Holiday well-wisher pumpkin

And my blog

And I did it all from the comfort of various chairs and classrooms without the use of extracorporal tools.  And my hands are free of gloop.  ...Well.  Pumpkin gloop.  Also:  no fire hazard from lighting the candles nor risk of legal repercussions after you seek vengeance against pumpkin smashers.  Nary a fear of contracting a rare disease when disposing of your rotting pumpkin carcass when Halloween has up n left. With these pumpkins, you are your own master.  Rather than take the time every night to go out and light/unlight your pumpkin, you can light up peoples’ phones with holiday cheer and their faces with smiles of delight as you text them the cutest pumpkins imaginable.  And if you mess up, there’s this awesome invention called the ‘undo’ button.  Doesn’t work in real life, but in my handheld virtual world, it is king.  Now all I need is a virtual costume designer app and an app that somehow gets me real candy while I lay all over everything I can find and I’m set for the rest of Halloween ever.  Make it so, science.